Boat – A Broadsman

2011 Cruise – Days 7 & 8

So. Waking up & discussing our criminality, we decided the best option was to reef down & take a ‘brisk’ SW tack out of the Thurne.

In retrospect, catching ‘Polly’ in Kendal dyke wasn’t out best plan, so with much spilling of wind we waited until Simon kindly sailed into the reeds allowing us a ‘gap’ to get past. Much to their annoyance, we also then stormed past a hire boat, tailgated the local bin lorry (it’s a barge running up/down Potter) & scattered several canoeists like startled ducks before we moored at the bridge.

The usual drama then unfolded, as we were navigating the old bridge, a day boat & a motor launch caused us to execute a rapid slalom!

Leaving Potter with a double reefed mainsail proved a sensible decision, as before the arrival of yet another rain shower – some strong gusts forced us into rigging the backstays & praying… once at Cold Harbour however we eased onto a broad reach that lasted until Acle.

Thankfully, conditions changed, and we set full sail from Acle bridge for the gentle run upriver to South Walsham dyke. Once there, we located the elusive ‘Polly’ & moored. A curry & cider set the spell for the rest of the evening… Except I’d only bloody bought poppadum’s which required DEEP-FRYING.

If you want to learn fear, true fear. Fill a large frying pan with an inch of oil. Bring it to red-hot temperature on a roaring Primus & then try not to get burnt to hell & back whilst you cook poppadum’s on it… (oh & be inside a wooden boat for good measure)… Eff me.

Later, a world-record was set – with 7 people all getting into ‘Polly’ for a drink… we estimated the freeboard was 2inches.

Night.

Day 8

It rained…. A lot. Again. ‘E’ was forced to vacate her bunk in the middle of the night as a waterfall had appeared. Relations were ‘restrained’ later than morning over breakfast…

We identified full cloud cover, and with no obvious respite from the weather we swiftly decided to motor upriver to Ludham Bridge, seeking solace in the Dog Inn PH.

Having ‘forgotten’ my waterproofs, I retired into the cabin to sit things out. Once through Ludham Bridge, conditions had deteriorated into a bleak, gusty, viscious SE gale. Obviously we reefed, hoisted sail & ‘took off’… (!)

Take off seemed appropriate, never before has a faster passage been recorded for the Ant. Surging upstream like a water-borne helter-skelter, we surfed along, ‘Corsair’ giving her best death roll into the bargain. The main was eased until the knot was in my hand (on all points of sail!!), the crew sat on the weather deck & the boom lunged skywards threatening a chinese gybe at any moment.

Eff me. We overtook, we undertook, and sometimes we plain bullied out way past boats and tried not to think what’d happen if the mast broke. At How Hill we observed a ‘twister’ running down the marsh – which mercifully avoided us.

The single photo of our down-wind melee – this is a backstay tackle.

However, we practiced aplomb (or blind fear) – within the hour, we had moored at Stalham staithe.

Strangely, our arrival coincided with opening time at ‘The Swan’, allowing us to calm our nerves with a leisurely lunch. Sometime later, we slunk back to ‘Corsair’ where unfortunately ‘L’ had had to return to work. The remainder of us motored to Sutton Staithe in a brief spell of sunshine. (it wasn’t to last).

Within minutes of mooring, we dodged YET ANOTHER deluge of rain & fled into the Sutton Staithe hotel, which accomodated us for the most random game of darts… Alas it was only spoiled by the overly creative scoring that ‘Nina’ displayed (for her score only!)

Returning to the boats, we found a welcome late-visitor in the form of ‘Polly’ – Hooray! much, much alcohol was then consumed to celebrate this, and we fell into a stupor, under the steady monotone of rain on canvas…

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 4

With sun pouring in through the cabin windows (expertly cleaned by Nina & Billy) at 4:30am, E & myself made a resolve to prepare some curtains before tomorrow…

Another stunning morning! Brilliant sunshine & a fair, but light breeze we slipped down the Broad, with ‘Corsair’ chuckling to herself as Nina helmed.

Several photographs later, we exited the Broad & headed up the upper Thurne toward Somerton to inspect Martham ferry, whilst ‘F’ caught us up.

Shortly after passing ‘Clipper 1’, we moored both craft upstream of the bridges before motoring through. Our entertainment for this bridge-transit was hearing the strident advice ‘C’ gave some tourists regarding their mooring technique…

Such amusements aside, once again we slipped off on a broad reach with Bill helming, whilst I busily prepared lunch (beef/mustard sandwiches).

At the confluence of the Bure & Thurne – ‘Corsair’ spent a minute or two before ‘F’ joined us. There followed an idyllic sail up river to Horning, following wind, sunshine, bliss!

Nina & Billy were both v.impressed with St Benet’s abbey, we delighted in all the ghost stories (some just for their benefit) as we passed.

Until Horning, things were peaceful, then the usual melee of day boats, tour boats, hire boats, swans, fisherman & miscellaneous craft provided a hair-raising sail for both boats!

(Scenes of ‘The art of coarse sailing’ – aiming for a point 4ft ahead of the stem of a tour boat raises the pulse!!!)

Once moored outside HSC – we returned to the mainland for a restorative ice-cream. Honestly, we looked like a bloody postcard scene! After some more posing, it was a short, if challenging sail downwind to Salhouse Broad. This section is pretty, but very tricky to sail with such heavily wooded banks.

Exhausted by our impressive mileage today, not one of us ventured upto the ‘Fur & Feathers’ in the evening (we’re all ‘kin knackered) Instead, the playground, woods & 3-hour walk to the toilets occupied us until our respective sleeping pits were found.

Night!

2011 Cruise – Day 3

We woke slowly (for some reason), with mist lazily rising from the water. I set to the duties of tea-making for the crew. Some of them were more ‘perky’ than others the Skipper notes… (!)

A brief quant later, both vessels were moving quite nicely onto the Thurne, with ‘F’ sporting her new, oversize Cornish ensign. Several infuriating windshifts later, we had tacked our way into Potter, and temporarily moored alongside a Richardson’s bathtub.

This gave us a brief refuge to catch our breath, before we all piled into ‘F’ through the bridges, Haiwaii 5-0 style!

Unfortunately, during this manuevre ‘Corsair’ was struck (hard) by an incredibly unpleasant, brain-dead knuckle dragging dickhead who piloted a hire cruiser with about as much aplomb as a wrecking ball. Fruitless discussion with them left negoiations in the hands of the hire yard & myself. Even now, as I write this I remember what a complete & utter person of questionable parentage he was…

However, ice creams, quiche & a quick cuppa soon removed such issues from our minds, and we set off on our voyage to Hickling. Unusually, with no sea breeze, light airs continued, allowing Nina to helm, with Mr B & Billy crewing.

Why let a glorious day with friends get in the way of a petty tacking duel though?! Once on Heigham Sounds we set about with a sweet-looking ‘F’, swapping tacks & exchanging insults as we progressed up past Deep-go-Dyke.

Once on the broad itself, the sea breeze did appear (finally!) & allowed us some decent long tacks with Mr B helping the jib over. Keeping pace with ‘Corsair’ though was a very sprightly dinghy – known as a bugle – it looked nippy!

We moored on the staithe (expertly helmed by Billy) – and all set about cleaning/smartening ‘Corsair’ in advance of ‘E’ arriving.

So, finishing early – I can only note that I am sat in the blazing sunshine, listening again to a live-band, feeling totally content.

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 2

Urgh. It’s 06:30, a prompted by a lack of sleep I’ve left my bunk to immediately begin the urgent task of making coffee, much to the chagrin of Mr B – who was engaged in the vain pursuit of more sleep…

1st mystery of the day – did we imagine that bloody cat or was it real? Also – why do we have a giant plastic chess piece (A queen) in the cockpit? More to the point, what do we bloody do with it?!? After a brief, hungover spat, we agreed a lack of evidence is often the best defence. (It came with).

With a clear sky, & blazing sun we motored downriver whilst in an attempt at reconcilliation with a clearly tired Mr B, I made Bacon Rolls. We passed ‘Pandora III’ at Berney Arms & briefly conversed with them as to their week’s cruising .

Once through Yarmouth (tide nearly right – we had to push abit) I busied myself in cleaning the cabin. My ‘potion’ was to first scrub the cabin floor with meths/bleach (!) then to add a mix of meths/linseed oil to feed the lino. During this hive of activity – Mr B & the chess piece watched solemly.

Cleaning inside a Broads yacht is always an odd activity – there’s never enough room & I felt like I’d done 10 rounds wrestling! Thankfully we’d reached Acle Bridge – and could take some welcome respite.

We gathered our crew (Nina & Billy), then waited… and waited. One of our group was tacking downriver to meet us, although with the flood now well underway, it was slow-going. Eventually C arrived & after quick introductions we agreed our objective for the night should be ‘Womack Island’.

The light SW provided an easy reach up the Bure, past Oby Mill, with ‘Corsair’ occasionally sweeping round to stay in conversation-distance.

Late afternoon, we ghosted into Womack water, dropping our sails in the shadow of the tress, before briefly quanting onto a deserted island staithe. Idyllic bliss!

Idyllic bliss yes, but after sausage & mash (gravy made with no flour – grump!) en-masse, we approached some unsuspected tourists to rob them of their dinghy. Swiftly installed in said dinghy, we rowed round to the staithe & the King’s Arms…. (just for one!)

n.b; Alas it would appear that the K/A has surrendered itself to a clientele with very different manners / tastes to us, so after 2 (we needed to check the 1st one) – we departed back to ‘Corsair’ for a night-cap. For reference, we had a 12ft dinghy – into which we managed to fit 5 adults!

Having managed to quietly get back with the dinghy & thank the still, frankly bewildered tourists, we had a quick night-cap, considered the day a success & retired.

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 1

Throughout 2011, I perfected the art of leaving ‘Corsair’ on a convenient mooring between sailing, rather than necessarily slogging back to Brundall each weekend.

Mostly – this worked well, I did occasionally take a ‘flexible’ view of the Broads Authority 24 hour moorings to facilitate this, but at this point of course I’m duty-bound to point out all fictitious references to that sort of thing should be treated as baseless rumour…

Anyway – the cruise for 2011 was to be a Northern rivers affair, especially as we’d covered a significant portion of the southern rivers in our ‘normal’ sailing having moved to Brundall.

Day 1

With news of the Reedham riverside beer festival ringing in my ears – ‘Corsair’ motored downstream in cool, calm conditions. Typically – we’d be gathering crew / boats today & tomorrow.

Meeting RCC S/N219 ‘Farthing’ moored up en-route – exchanging muted greetings across the river & above the engine noise (!). Maybe they were shouting? Who knows… Anyway. We moored just upstream of the BA hut on Reedham quay, to await the arrival of Binky on the 20:00 train.

Duly aboard – we agreed a quick dinner was the best approach, lets get at the beer!

There was however much consternation from Mr B – he’d not yet had the ‘pleasure’ of being upclose & personal with a primus stove… and I was still learning!

To be fair, the flames did die down… but he’s still twitchy from our last fire onboard. (another story!)

Before we could get ashore however, with shades of Michael Green… we’d found ourselves in possesion of a cat! Quite how the bloody thing got aboard is one mystery we’ll never resolve. The ‘shadow puppet’ theatre for the quay-side as the awning buckled/bulged/swayed to the tune of “bugger off! Come here, whose fucking cat is this anyway!?” Must have been popular.

Order restored, we swiftly walked to the Lord Nelson to calm our nerves…

The music festival – pre the Kazoo solo.

Much later, nerves calmed, we were ‘treated’ to some solo kazoo playing, from ‘The Harvs’ band. Wishing them great fortunes, we retired to the boat.

Early tide tomorrow.

Night.

2011 – 60th year

2011 saw us winter at Upton again, with further repairs being made in an attempt to keep the port sidedeck waterproof (largely unsuccessful – in the long run) – but we were tucked up at the Northern end of the yard, in good company.

For this period we were ashore adjacent to a Woodbrige-builtcraft, a Ranzo 4 ½ tonner designed by William Maxwell Blake – built by Robertson’s yard. She was (is) a beautiful yacht, very different to anything local to the Broads, and both us owners could enjoy chatting away – avoiding real work.

nb; she is for sale – here; https://www.topsail.co.uk/boat.php?refnum=2207

However, 2011 was an anniversary year for ‘Corsair’ – I thought I would do all I could to make her look good. Her cabin sides had been stained last year (the eagle eyed amongst you will have spotted no chrome trim last year).

In fact – that wasn’t entirely an aesthetic choice – I was finding the financial implications of owning a wooden boat really tough. This photo from late 2010 shows myself & a girlfriend heading out to St. Benet’s abbey for the day (November, some beautiful sailing can be had in Autumn) – and you’ll spot where I rain out of masking tape applying the boot top that year!

November sailing – 2010 excuse the lack of boot top!

So, for 2011 I was determined to do better – I’m not sure I necessarily succeeded, but ‘Corsair’ did make it into the water fully painted, with a cove-line, and some more varnish on the cabin sides. Our launch caused a certain amount of concern – as ‘Corsair’ did her best to take in as much water as possible in the shortest time…

The night before I brought both boats south – I stayed on ‘TOG’ in the basin at Upton. Whilst during the winter often this is an exposed spot – by spring the trees are in leaf & it becomes a snug little mooring which if I’m honest, gives you the best seat in the house to have your dinner.

It was chilly, but you can’t beat being afloat – or eating in the open air (IMHO). But yes, back to ‘Corsair’

The extra attention that winter wasn’t in vain – I had plans! ‘Corsair’ was moving south to a new mooring on the southern rivers in Brundall, and was to celebrate her 60th birthday in style, competing in the ‘Ray Perryman’ race over the late May B.H.

The journey south wasn’t without ‘incident’ – it has to be said, having completed the winter work on both ‘Corsair’ & ‘TOG’ – I was expressly forbidden to exit the dyke with both vessels at the same time, by the then yard owner. Well… what can I say??!

It was genuinely abit tight in a couple of places… we rubbed fenders twice with moored boats & then set off for our tidal window at Great Yarmouth.

Coming to the southern rivers, the ebb tends to run alot longer in the Bure than it will the Yare – so you can come down much later than you’d think & be guaranteed a good flood tide up Breydon. Today was no exception, as I turned at the yellow post, both craft found themselves whisked up the channel nicely, thank you very much…

Except. The exhaust note had changed from its usual tone, to one more redolent of a dirty phone call… ‘huffahuffahuffahuff’. Quick check over my shoulder. No water from the exhaust. Sod it! Shut down the engine pronto.

Leaping from boat to boat, whilst digging an outboard bracket out of the forepeak, putting it on, repeating that process twice for the engine & fueltank. Well I won’t bore you with the details, but needless to say I am confident I’ve set a world record. Both ‘TOG’ & ‘Corsair’ were gently pirouetting their way to the mudbanks – I had to move fast.

Some minutes later, with my 5hp outboard roaring its head off, we began the slog trek up Breydon. Phew. Wooden boats eh?

Next time, we celebrate ‘Corsair’s’ birthday.

Cruise 2010 – the final day

Phew. Well after a particularly long evening, the skipper can report his safe return to ‘Corsair’. Miss Jalil & I also managed to spend a pleasant night on relatively dry bunks!

I’m not sure of the details now, writing this 11 years later, but I can see that I’ve changed the crew names for today to “Binky, my faithful Binky, Wiggles & Pol-Pot” – no doubt they were testing my otherwise charming nature.

As it’s the last morning (or meal) – we dined on an ENORMOUS breakfast which for the others was on top of their own feast at the pub last night. But yes, last meal – usually ‘lob in’. Despite the sheltered nature of the staithe – we could tell it was bloody windy, another 3 reefs & storm jib job.

We quanted out, raised sail & blasted across Barton just once to feel the breeze. That dealt with we started on a passage which highlighted just how crap a sailing river the Ant can be! Initially we struggled with the tricks & schemes of the trees at Irstead.

Only then, we got clear of that bloody lot & found ourselves in a long tacking sessions whilst dodging a myriad of hire boats, and getting somewhat (ahem) frustrated in the process. Honestly I’ve never met so many retards.

Just downstream of How Hill, there followed 10 minutes of the most vicious, horrible sailing. We caught a ‘roger’ from the marshes, which ripped the mainsheet out of my hands. It took both hands & all my strength of the tiller to keep ‘Corsair’ from rounding up into the bank.

We spent then 10 long, scary minutes surfing down the Ant, huddled in the cockpit (it wasn’t safe to go forrad with the way the mast was bending) before luffing into a sheltered spot behind some trees.

n.b; trees are your friend on a day like this, I never say a bad word about them!

Sails lowered in record time, we put the outboard on & motored to Ludham Bridge. At which point… WHOOSH. Biblical rain! Everyone hid in the cabin, except me…

At this point, cold, fed up & being given the gift of feedback from Wiggles & Pol-Pot, we accepted the inevitable and motored back to Oby Dyke. To all our disbelief, the Land Rover started – so we drew our holiday to a close!

Next year – ‘Corsair’s’ 60th birthday cruise.

Night.

Cruise 2010 – Day 7

A reasonably dry night surprised us all at Coltishall, 4 drips overall we reckon can be considered reasonably dry!

We motored in the rain (surprise!) downstream to Wroxham, taking the shortcut through Bridge Broad. This is a stretch of the navigation which can be overlooked – did you know there’s an Alpine landscape next to the river?

At Wroxham, some replacement waterproof trousers were needed (don’t ask) – an unfortunately due to a stocking issue, the entire crew of ‘Corsair’ can now wear these poxy trousers at the same time!!

Given the now torrential rain, we all clambered aboard ‘HB’ & found ourselves moved quite briskly downriver to Horning, ready to make sail again (after all, this is a sailing boat – Skipper’s grumble).

Maybe it was an omen, but we found ourselves in the sunshine (for the 2nd time that week, AND with a favourable breeze it felt like maybe it could be an actual holiday! This was Jacob’s 1st venture into yachting, so typically we launched ourselves straight into the path of an oncoming wherry (Albion)!

At the mouth of the Ant, we cut short our yachting & joined the procession of jolly sailor types heading from Barton Open Regatta. En-route we passed the film crew of ‘Jam Today’ again – and by How Hill we’d set 1st reef & middle jib for some more yachting.

Out on Barton we were glad of the reef – storming about adjacent to ‘HB’ – causing chaos in the cabin,

although we did get some spectacular photo’s of the old girl. Our antics were carefully watched by ‘Jenny’ – a fully reefed hire boat from Martham who disapproved.

Eventually, ‘HB’ towed us to Sutton Staithe, where we moored in the rain (how familiar) & spent the evening BBQ’ing… after all we are on holiday!

Night.

Cruise 2010 – Day 6

We survived. A bland & mediocre offering but nonetheless sufficient.
Much like rationing.

It is strange to start a day’s log talking about events that happened yesterday however some things are worthy of note… as ‘Vintage Broadsman’ appeared on Salhouse Broad last night, blasting out a cheesy disco soundtrack, it was promptly drowned out by the Mozart from HB’s sound-system. How proper.

We can also report that the ‘Fur & Feathers’ is still a fine establishment serving much tasty ale… In fact the only fly in the ointment is that there was a troupe of Morris dancers outside who asked for requests; apparently ‘piss off’ wasn’t the correct answer. So we left swiftly after clearing that misunderstanding up!

Besides ensuring that we stayed until we had used all of our £6 mooring fee, there was little available to keep us at Salhouse so we headed for Wroxham amid more rain (lovely!) – in fact it was so unpleasant that we lowered the mast & motored the whole way as quickly as possible.

Wroxham itself had a variety of temptation to offer us, mostly fish & chips, some overly large waterproof trousers and an exceedingly flamboyant umbrella for the skipper. Also, there was a whistle-stop tour of Roy’s food department.

And, for no reason at all, its worth nothing that when you throw the mudweight overboard, ALWAYS check if it is on a short line, and whether or not it’s only on a small cleat with short screws… I mention this for no reason.

Post fish & chips, we departed the moorings & motored under Hoveton viaduct toward Belaugh. Despite HB taking a shortcut through bridge broad – ‘Corsair’ maintained the lead.

It was the 1st time ‘Corsair’ had been to Coltishall in my ownership & despite the weather (torrential rain) the navigation was very pretty. I saw a Kingfisher & several shoals of fish in the very clear water.

I might add, those weren’t the only highlights of the trip. ‘HB’ had the sliding roof open going through Wroxham bridge, soaking the Judas aboard… Sadly it was nothing to the sogginess of ‘Corsair’ – the awning was laid over the cabin, the umbrella was up… not a jot of bloody difference it made!

We spotted the ‘Death & Glory’ and ‘Troutbridge’ moored at Belaugh. No loveable Lesley however.

Much later, we found ourselves at Coltishall with the Tilley lamp valiantly drying out the contents of our cabin, with our new crew member languishing aboard ‘HB’ in the saloon. Weakness of character if you ask me!

Night

Cruise 2010 – Day 5

Today we started lazily if I’m honest, the Skipper began with attempting to steal a TE20 tractor from the boatyard & in a fit of benevolance we offered the crew of a ‘Leander’ to moor alongside us so they could access the freshwater hose.

It was quite strange really to compare the 2, considering that ‘Corsair’ came from the same yard – they really are completely different!

(This was years before I understood the role A.L. Braithwaite had with the clippers – versus the reality of Alfred Yaxley from Belaugh, the postwar foreman of Chumley&Hawke who did however build ‘Corsair’ with Tim Whelpton, albeit with an extra plank)

Anyway, in a strange reversal of our now familiar daily routine, we took all reefs out – bunged the big jib on (!) & set full rig after 4 days!! We soon departed & headed for a wild-mooring opposite St. Benet’s abbey to perform housework. (Binky cleaned the cabin windows)

Enjoying full-rig, we set off again & navigated onto South Walsham Broad where we sailed well into the inner broad, circumnavigated the island & spotted RCC S/N70 ‘Don’ at mudweight. Coming out of Fleet Dyke, we engaged in some informal racing with a Devon yawl, with Mr Jalil proving himself quite competitive (surprising)

HB was spotted on the St Benet’s moorings, where Theo promptly (and quite literally) jumped ship. The prospect of a warm & dry berth proving too tempting for his weak-willed traitorous ways!

Despite this treachery Binky & I enjoyed the gentle tack upto Ranworth, where to be fair ‘HB’ did tow us onto Malthouse broad, where we mudweighted close to the wherry ‘Albion’ where we then all unwisely leapt into a tiny dinghy for the passage to the Maltsers P.H.

(At this point, a certain Judas displayed all the grace of a baby rhino on acid to get in/out of the said dinghy, nearly tipping us all in!)

After a reasonably boozy lunch, we motored upriver to the surprisingly expensive Salhouse Broad for the night. D is cooking, only tomorrow will tell if we survive…

Night.