rivers – A Broadsman

2011 Cruise – Days 7 & 8

So. Waking up & discussing our criminality, we decided the best option was to reef down & take a ‘brisk’ SW tack out of the Thurne.

In retrospect, catching ‘Polly’ in Kendal dyke wasn’t out best plan, so with much spilling of wind we waited until Simon kindly sailed into the reeds allowing us a ‘gap’ to get past. Much to their annoyance, we also then stormed past a hire boat, tailgated the local bin lorry (it’s a barge running up/down Potter) & scattered several canoeists like startled ducks before we moored at the bridge.

The usual drama then unfolded, as we were navigating the old bridge, a day boat & a motor launch caused us to execute a rapid slalom!

Leaving Potter with a double reefed mainsail proved a sensible decision, as before the arrival of yet another rain shower – some strong gusts forced us into rigging the backstays & praying… once at Cold Harbour however we eased onto a broad reach that lasted until Acle.

Thankfully, conditions changed, and we set full sail from Acle bridge for the gentle run upriver to South Walsham dyke. Once there, we located the elusive ‘Polly’ & moored. A curry & cider set the spell for the rest of the evening… Except I’d only bloody bought poppadum’s which required DEEP-FRYING.

If you want to learn fear, true fear. Fill a large frying pan with an inch of oil. Bring it to red-hot temperature on a roaring Primus & then try not to get burnt to hell & back whilst you cook poppadum’s on it… (oh & be inside a wooden boat for good measure)… Eff me.

Later, a world-record was set – with 7 people all getting into ‘Polly’ for a drink… we estimated the freeboard was 2inches.

Night.

Day 8

It rained…. A lot. Again. ‘E’ was forced to vacate her bunk in the middle of the night as a waterfall had appeared. Relations were ‘restrained’ later than morning over breakfast…

We identified full cloud cover, and with no obvious respite from the weather we swiftly decided to motor upriver to Ludham Bridge, seeking solace in the Dog Inn PH.

Having ‘forgotten’ my waterproofs, I retired into the cabin to sit things out. Once through Ludham Bridge, conditions had deteriorated into a bleak, gusty, viscious SE gale. Obviously we reefed, hoisted sail & ‘took off’… (!)

Take off seemed appropriate, never before has a faster passage been recorded for the Ant. Surging upstream like a water-borne helter-skelter, we surfed along, ‘Corsair’ giving her best death roll into the bargain. The main was eased until the knot was in my hand (on all points of sail!!), the crew sat on the weather deck & the boom lunged skywards threatening a chinese gybe at any moment.

Eff me. We overtook, we undertook, and sometimes we plain bullied out way past boats and tried not to think what’d happen if the mast broke. At How Hill we observed a ‘twister’ running down the marsh – which mercifully avoided us.

The single photo of our down-wind melee – this is a backstay tackle.

However, we practiced aplomb (or blind fear) – within the hour, we had moored at Stalham staithe.

Strangely, our arrival coincided with opening time at ‘The Swan’, allowing us to calm our nerves with a leisurely lunch. Sometime later, we slunk back to ‘Corsair’ where unfortunately ‘L’ had had to return to work. The remainder of us motored to Sutton Staithe in a brief spell of sunshine. (it wasn’t to last).

Within minutes of mooring, we dodged YET ANOTHER deluge of rain & fled into the Sutton Staithe hotel, which accomodated us for the most random game of darts… Alas it was only spoiled by the overly creative scoring that ‘Nina’ displayed (for her score only!)

Returning to the boats, we found a welcome late-visitor in the form of ‘Polly’ – Hooray! much, much alcohol was then consumed to celebrate this, and we fell into a stupor, under the steady monotone of rain on canvas…

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 5

Rain. Lots of it. A brief, but dense shower woke us all & peppered us throughout breakfast. There was a fierce competition as to how many people could fit inside ‘Corsair’, under cover. Eventually we realised it was futile, broke camp & set off to Wroxham.

This week, it seemed every S.o.B & his wife was out on the river – it was mayhem. As we approached Wroxham bridge, we were VERY glad to have stopped & left ‘F’ on a mudweight on Salhouse Broad.

As a side-note, ‘Corsair’ has an ingenious folding bracket which holds the outboard motor. Sadly this also means that it folds itself when you go hard astern… so in confined manoeuvres we go VERY slowly & hope nothing pulls out in front of us.

Teaching the tourists some anglo-saxon – we made a swift stern mooring, and were safely tucked up outside the coffee shop (oh no, of all the spots to pick!)

Hot showers suitably revived us, and special attire (lord knows what that means – Ed.) was donned in advance of ‘PollyWog’ joining us.

One brief & quite shouty evasive manoeuvre later, both ‘Corsair’ & ‘PollyWog’ escaped un-scathed despite the best efforts of ‘Queen of the Broads’ (!)

On the way to Horning – ‘F’ was recovered, whilst ‘Corsair’ went on, and moored outside the sailing club again – to allow us to raise sail, before leisurely heading to Ranworth. Almost immediately the wind fell to a flat calm. (bugger).

30 mins of quanting later, we’re huffing/puffing past the Ferry Inn, when Billy (in search of baccy) discovers he’s left his jacket at Horning Sailing Club. (Groan!).

Ten minutes of full-chat outboard later, we’re back at the sailing club, thankfully someone has kept the jacket safe having spotted it. (phew!) We’d left ‘Polly’ & ‘F’ to complete their slow drift to Malthouse Broad. We, on the grounds of likely mutiny chose to motor…

As the evening drew in, with a choc-a-block staithe, we simply waited until the ferry stopped running before putting all 3 craft in the dayboat dyke. (simple!), before scarpering to the Maltsters.

Mostly uneventful, we went to bed, gratified by the sound of a tourist falling in…

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 4

With sun pouring in through the cabin windows (expertly cleaned by Nina & Billy) at 4:30am, E & myself made a resolve to prepare some curtains before tomorrow…

Another stunning morning! Brilliant sunshine & a fair, but light breeze we slipped down the Broad, with ‘Corsair’ chuckling to herself as Nina helmed.

Several photographs later, we exited the Broad & headed up the upper Thurne toward Somerton to inspect Martham ferry, whilst ‘F’ caught us up.

Shortly after passing ‘Clipper 1’, we moored both craft upstream of the bridges before motoring through. Our entertainment for this bridge-transit was hearing the strident advice ‘C’ gave some tourists regarding their mooring technique…

Such amusements aside, once again we slipped off on a broad reach with Bill helming, whilst I busily prepared lunch (beef/mustard sandwiches).

At the confluence of the Bure & Thurne – ‘Corsair’ spent a minute or two before ‘F’ joined us. There followed an idyllic sail up river to Horning, following wind, sunshine, bliss!

Nina & Billy were both v.impressed with St Benet’s abbey, we delighted in all the ghost stories (some just for their benefit) as we passed.

Until Horning, things were peaceful, then the usual melee of day boats, tour boats, hire boats, swans, fisherman & miscellaneous craft provided a hair-raising sail for both boats!

(Scenes of ‘The art of coarse sailing’ – aiming for a point 4ft ahead of the stem of a tour boat raises the pulse!!!)

Once moored outside HSC – we returned to the mainland for a restorative ice-cream. Honestly, we looked like a bloody postcard scene! After some more posing, it was a short, if challenging sail downwind to Salhouse Broad. This section is pretty, but very tricky to sail with such heavily wooded banks.

Exhausted by our impressive mileage today, not one of us ventured upto the ‘Fur & Feathers’ in the evening (we’re all ‘kin knackered) Instead, the playground, woods & 3-hour walk to the toilets occupied us until our respective sleeping pits were found.

Night!

2011 Cruise – Day 3

We woke slowly (for some reason), with mist lazily rising from the water. I set to the duties of tea-making for the crew. Some of them were more ‘perky’ than others the Skipper notes… (!)

A brief quant later, both vessels were moving quite nicely onto the Thurne, with ‘F’ sporting her new, oversize Cornish ensign. Several infuriating windshifts later, we had tacked our way into Potter, and temporarily moored alongside a Richardson’s bathtub.

This gave us a brief refuge to catch our breath, before we all piled into ‘F’ through the bridges, Haiwaii 5-0 style!

Unfortunately, during this manuevre ‘Corsair’ was struck (hard) by an incredibly unpleasant, brain-dead knuckle dragging dickhead who piloted a hire cruiser with about as much aplomb as a wrecking ball. Fruitless discussion with them left negoiations in the hands of the hire yard & myself. Even now, as I write this I remember what a complete & utter person of questionable parentage he was…

However, ice creams, quiche & a quick cuppa soon removed such issues from our minds, and we set off on our voyage to Hickling. Unusually, with no sea breeze, light airs continued, allowing Nina to helm, with Mr B & Billy crewing.

Why let a glorious day with friends get in the way of a petty tacking duel though?! Once on Heigham Sounds we set about with a sweet-looking ‘F’, swapping tacks & exchanging insults as we progressed up past Deep-go-Dyke.

Once on the broad itself, the sea breeze did appear (finally!) & allowed us some decent long tacks with Mr B helping the jib over. Keeping pace with ‘Corsair’ though was a very sprightly dinghy – known as a bugle – it looked nippy!

We moored on the staithe (expertly helmed by Billy) – and all set about cleaning/smartening ‘Corsair’ in advance of ‘E’ arriving.

So, finishing early – I can only note that I am sat in the blazing sunshine, listening again to a live-band, feeling totally content.

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 2

Urgh. It’s 06:30, a prompted by a lack of sleep I’ve left my bunk to immediately begin the urgent task of making coffee, much to the chagrin of Mr B – who was engaged in the vain pursuit of more sleep…

1st mystery of the day – did we imagine that bloody cat or was it real? Also – why do we have a giant plastic chess piece (A queen) in the cockpit? More to the point, what do we bloody do with it?!? After a brief, hungover spat, we agreed a lack of evidence is often the best defence. (It came with).

With a clear sky, & blazing sun we motored downriver whilst in an attempt at reconcilliation with a clearly tired Mr B, I made Bacon Rolls. We passed ‘Pandora III’ at Berney Arms & briefly conversed with them as to their week’s cruising .

Once through Yarmouth (tide nearly right – we had to push abit) I busied myself in cleaning the cabin. My ‘potion’ was to first scrub the cabin floor with meths/bleach (!) then to add a mix of meths/linseed oil to feed the lino. During this hive of activity – Mr B & the chess piece watched solemly.

Cleaning inside a Broads yacht is always an odd activity – there’s never enough room & I felt like I’d done 10 rounds wrestling! Thankfully we’d reached Acle Bridge – and could take some welcome respite.

We gathered our crew (Nina & Billy), then waited… and waited. One of our group was tacking downriver to meet us, although with the flood now well underway, it was slow-going. Eventually C arrived & after quick introductions we agreed our objective for the night should be ‘Womack Island’.

The light SW provided an easy reach up the Bure, past Oby Mill, with ‘Corsair’ occasionally sweeping round to stay in conversation-distance.

Late afternoon, we ghosted into Womack water, dropping our sails in the shadow of the tress, before briefly quanting onto a deserted island staithe. Idyllic bliss!

Idyllic bliss yes, but after sausage & mash (gravy made with no flour – grump!) en-masse, we approached some unsuspected tourists to rob them of their dinghy. Swiftly installed in said dinghy, we rowed round to the staithe & the King’s Arms…. (just for one!)

n.b; Alas it would appear that the K/A has surrendered itself to a clientele with very different manners / tastes to us, so after 2 (we needed to check the 1st one) – we departed back to ‘Corsair’ for a night-cap. For reference, we had a 12ft dinghy – into which we managed to fit 5 adults!

Having managed to quietly get back with the dinghy & thank the still, frankly bewildered tourists, we had a quick night-cap, considered the day a success & retired.

Night.

2011 Cruise – Day 1

Throughout 2011, I perfected the art of leaving ‘Corsair’ on a convenient mooring between sailing, rather than necessarily slogging back to Brundall each weekend.

Mostly – this worked well, I did occasionally take a ‘flexible’ view of the Broads Authority 24 hour moorings to facilitate this, but at this point of course I’m duty-bound to point out all fictitious references to that sort of thing should be treated as baseless rumour…

Anyway – the cruise for 2011 was to be a Northern rivers affair, especially as we’d covered a significant portion of the southern rivers in our ‘normal’ sailing having moved to Brundall.

Day 1

With news of the Reedham riverside beer festival ringing in my ears – ‘Corsair’ motored downstream in cool, calm conditions. Typically – we’d be gathering crew / boats today & tomorrow.

Meeting RCC S/N219 ‘Farthing’ moored up en-route – exchanging muted greetings across the river & above the engine noise (!). Maybe they were shouting? Who knows… Anyway. We moored just upstream of the BA hut on Reedham quay, to await the arrival of Binky on the 20:00 train.

Duly aboard – we agreed a quick dinner was the best approach, lets get at the beer!

There was however much consternation from Mr B – he’d not yet had the ‘pleasure’ of being upclose & personal with a primus stove… and I was still learning!

To be fair, the flames did die down… but he’s still twitchy from our last fire onboard. (another story!)

Before we could get ashore however, with shades of Michael Green… we’d found ourselves in possesion of a cat! Quite how the bloody thing got aboard is one mystery we’ll never resolve. The ‘shadow puppet’ theatre for the quay-side as the awning buckled/bulged/swayed to the tune of “bugger off! Come here, whose fucking cat is this anyway!?” Must have been popular.

Order restored, we swiftly walked to the Lord Nelson to calm our nerves…

The music festival – pre the Kazoo solo.

Much later, nerves calmed, we were ‘treated’ to some solo kazoo playing, from ‘The Harvs’ band. Wishing them great fortunes, we retired to the boat.

Early tide tomorrow.

Night.

Cruise 2010 – Day 8; racing… !

Falling gently asleep to multiple sirens from the emergency services was abit bizarre – seems a motorcyclist decided to leave the Stalham bypass at over 100mph last night…

Truth was, we soon found ourselves in a frenzy of activity ‘HB’ was being returned to her owners – both Jalil & Jacob were returning (reluctantly) to ‘Corsair’ & we needed more provisions…

So a high-speed motor to Stalham saw us victualled at Tesco, before we motored straight back to the Punt Club on Barton Broad, to sign in for 2 races.

That done, there was a little matter of a reunion to attend to, & I honestly can’t say absolutely the last time that 3 Chumley & Hawke clippers were rafted up – but it wasn’t an opportunity to be missed! Chronologically, we managed to get Clipper’s 4, 5 & 6 posed – sadly though no time for a photo!

We flurried back to Barton Turf, picked up Clover (another Jalil) – deposited Jacob & headed for the start line…

It’s clear we’re not going to trouble the ‘big boys’ anytime soon! Highlights included not loosing the rig (topping lift on a Nav post) & cutting inside a competitor at the buoy. We came a definitive last, but we also had fun – I mean you can’t get too competitive can you?

Post – race – we deposited crew at Barton Turf (again) – and headed to Gay’s staithe for some lunch. We carried 1st reef & out big jib – so enjoyed another cracking sail across the Broad. We even managed some screams from the feminine contingent (both Jalils).

On-route, we managed to bowl a fresh onion to ‘HB’ to save their dinner plans (this is no mean feat at 6 knots & a good angle of heel!) Also – pictured above are some typical scenes from Barton regatta – it forms a water-borne city for the weekend, through which we threaded (at speed) searching for a motor boat to deliver an onion. Madness.

I’m proud (pissed?) to say that in time-honoured fashion, we then found ourselves in a pub, and is often the way with Broads sailing we subsequently missed out start at 4pm & ended up staggering back to the boat quite ‘merry’…

After a whistlestop lesson in how to operate the Tilley lamp, I left to maintain a dinner engagement leaving them all ‘to it’. Christ knows what I’ll come back to…

Night.

Cruise 2010 – Day 7

A reasonably dry night surprised us all at Coltishall, 4 drips overall we reckon can be considered reasonably dry!

We motored in the rain (surprise!) downstream to Wroxham, taking the shortcut through Bridge Broad. This is a stretch of the navigation which can be overlooked – did you know there’s an Alpine landscape next to the river?

At Wroxham, some replacement waterproof trousers were needed (don’t ask) – an unfortunately due to a stocking issue, the entire crew of ‘Corsair’ can now wear these poxy trousers at the same time!!

Given the now torrential rain, we all clambered aboard ‘HB’ & found ourselves moved quite briskly downriver to Horning, ready to make sail again (after all, this is a sailing boat – Skipper’s grumble).

Maybe it was an omen, but we found ourselves in the sunshine (for the 2nd time that week, AND with a favourable breeze it felt like maybe it could be an actual holiday! This was Jacob’s 1st venture into yachting, so typically we launched ourselves straight into the path of an oncoming wherry (Albion)!

At the mouth of the Ant, we cut short our yachting & joined the procession of jolly sailor types heading from Barton Open Regatta. En-route we passed the film crew of ‘Jam Today’ again – and by How Hill we’d set 1st reef & middle jib for some more yachting.

Out on Barton we were glad of the reef – storming about adjacent to ‘HB’ – causing chaos in the cabin,

although we did get some spectacular photo’s of the old girl. Our antics were carefully watched by ‘Jenny’ – a fully reefed hire boat from Martham who disapproved.

Eventually, ‘HB’ towed us to Sutton Staithe, where we moored in the rain (how familiar) & spent the evening BBQ’ing… after all we are on holiday!

Night.

Cruise 2010 – Day 5

Today we started lazily if I’m honest, the Skipper began with attempting to steal a TE20 tractor from the boatyard & in a fit of benevolance we offered the crew of a ‘Leander’ to moor alongside us so they could access the freshwater hose.

It was quite strange really to compare the 2, considering that ‘Corsair’ came from the same yard – they really are completely different!

(This was years before I understood the role A.L. Braithwaite had with the clippers – versus the reality of Alfred Yaxley from Belaugh, the postwar foreman of Chumley&Hawke who did however build ‘Corsair’ with Tim Whelpton, albeit with an extra plank)

Anyway, in a strange reversal of our now familiar daily routine, we took all reefs out – bunged the big jib on (!) & set full rig after 4 days!! We soon departed & headed for a wild-mooring opposite St. Benet’s abbey to perform housework. (Binky cleaned the cabin windows)

Enjoying full-rig, we set off again & navigated onto South Walsham Broad where we sailed well into the inner broad, circumnavigated the island & spotted RCC S/N70 ‘Don’ at mudweight. Coming out of Fleet Dyke, we engaged in some informal racing with a Devon yawl, with Mr Jalil proving himself quite competitive (surprising)

HB was spotted on the St Benet’s moorings, where Theo promptly (and quite literally) jumped ship. The prospect of a warm & dry berth proving too tempting for his weak-willed traitorous ways!

Despite this treachery Binky & I enjoyed the gentle tack upto Ranworth, where to be fair ‘HB’ did tow us onto Malthouse broad, where we mudweighted close to the wherry ‘Albion’ where we then all unwisely leapt into a tiny dinghy for the passage to the Maltsers P.H.

(At this point, a certain Judas displayed all the grace of a baby rhino on acid to get in/out of the said dinghy, nearly tipping us all in!)

After a reasonably boozy lunch, we motored upriver to the surprisingly expensive Salhouse Broad for the night. D is cooking, only tomorrow will tell if we survive…

Night.

Cruise 2010 – Day 4

Dear readers… this morning we managed to wake slowly, with no hysterics from Jalil… our temporary waterproofing HAS WORKED!

Despite the sheltered nature of the staithe – it was apparent that it was bloomin’ windy, something we discovered when we ventured onto Barton Broad. We set the ever familiar 2 reefs & middle jib, before storming across the Broad enjoying ourselves, and ignoring the chaos in the cabin (!)

Having said that, we didn’t achieve the angle of heel we did on the southern rivers when we doused Robert’s bunk… (https://broadssailing.blog/2019/10/18/cruise-2009-day-3/)

Whilst thundering around the Broad, we allowed ourselves a giggle at a hire-yacht branded with ‘TRY SAILING’ -which at times seemed a good suggestion for the helmsman to follow. (!)

Fun over, we decided that a tack down the Ant would be impossible – so we became tourist-esque. We motored to Stalham to wander around. It was at this point I bought a Tilley lamp, which turned out to be a complete lemon! (I think we were desperately trying to find ways of drying out the boat)

Sadly even the charms of Stalham weren’t enough to keep us there, despite a ‘en masse’ decision for hot showers at Richardson’s boatyard (behave! Not like that) So freshly laundered, we gave into the inevitable and motored downriver to Ludham Bridge, where we moored in half a bloody gale… holiday’s afloat eh?

The crew at this point abandoned me – choosing to sit in the cabin rather than endure another cold & wet slog into the rain. Can’t blame them! (but I will)

‘Enjoying’ ourselves in the summer weather.

The weather did moderate a little, which enabled us to stop at ‘How Hill’ (more tourism) – walking around & inspecting both Toad Hole cottage & Boardman’s pump. Boardman’s pump is a trestle open frame mill, complete with its turbine pump (dating from 1897) – it’s amazing what you’ll read on an information board when you’re soaked through & fed up!

Sensibly at this point, we sought refuge in the ‘Dog Inn’ for the evening. Highlights (or not) was how we ended up in conversation with a film crew who were filming a short film called ‘Jam Today’ – for the UK independent film council. The weather meant these lads were stuck on a boat with beautiful young women. Bastards.

(https://www.instagram.com/p/CR_WN1zCVyU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link))

Night.